PART 4: BERLIN
sunday, july 1:
mom and i took a train from prague to berlin and were seated by this strange fat man with some sorta' consistent nasal blockage, causing him to snort and whisper to himself over and over. we laughed so hard i think i queefed the alphabet by the time we got to berlin.
this was the first weird german thing i saw off the train:
once in berlin, we checked into meininger hostel on tempelhofer ufer and i immediately called oli. i met up with him and pussy grinder at a cafe in kastanienallee. hooray!! i finally got to meet the men of my dreams! pussy grinder came all the way from poland to hang out with us. he was so cute and shy that it made my heart melt like creamed corn cuntbutter.
me and pussy g:
we met up with bonah and some of his buddies at a mexican restaurant, where oli serenaded me. he's so sweet. check the video for clips.
after that, bonah, pussy grinder, oli and i sat around, humped each other and drank wine. at one point the street cleaners outside the 2nd story flat sprayed a hose at me in the window and soaked bonah's apartment. pussy g busted out the pair of menstrual panties i made just for him for his birthday and of course, pictures were snapped aplenty.
pussy g, me and olli!
pussy grinder fingerfucking my right nostril and oli flicking me off. how romantic:
me and bonah from the boyband, gut:
pussy grinder with the homemade period panties i gave him for his birthday. yes, i am serious and yes, he wears it as a mask:
hot polish love:
monday, july 2:
mom and i got up and did some tourist shit, walked to checkpoint charlie from our hostel where i picked up a great new set of foxtails. i remember it was raining and we trudged around, went to a few thrift stores. then i left mom to meet with olli to drop pussy grinder off at the bus stop and then go to Liquido's recording studio, where i laid down 2 tracks for them, one of them called "pop the bottle", not sure about the other one. check the video for clips.
oli and my mom fell in love i think:
some random street art:
oli eating my panties. how sweet!
after that, olli and i went on a quest to find the great didez, his boyband lover from the band libido airbag. it took us twenty thousand years, but we found his place and hung out... by that time in mom and i's european quest i was fucking exhausted. didez was a hottie though, a real ragtag warrior.
oli stayed over didez' house, so i tried to find my way to a bar near my hostel called Wild At Heart, but ended up getting lost on a train line that had stopped running for the night. in my exhaustion i attempted to walk the rest of the way and someone stopped me, telling me i'd get fucked up in a bad neighborhood if i did it, so they pointed me, in broken english, to the right tram.
SOMEHOW i managed to get there and met with my buddies texas terri bomb (my rockin' sistah from hollywood who recently moved to berlin) and pop (one of my best friends from london, in the band chemical kaos), met his friend chamblz and ended up hanging out with gogol bordello (one of the best bands ever) for the night, which pretty much ruled. after a huge beer, i found my way home and crawled into bed.... ahhhhh!
tuesday, july 3:
mom and i got up to do tourist shit, went to the brandenburg gates and the reichstag and a buncha' other shit. i was so pissy i don't remember much, but the constant ducking to get away from the snapping of cameras. mom and i had a system that when she saw someone taking my picture, she'd yell "MAP!" and i'd pull my map up over my head and we'd commence laughing. i don't know what the fuck it is about tourists, man...
some sculpture my mom loved cuz' it looks like someone wiped poo all over a retard's busted face. i love my mom:
we met up with olli at the berlin zoo (video), which was fucking awesome. after that, i think i took a nap and met up with pop, olli and didez at some bar that i forgot the name of. olli got sick and so we left, but not without eating a healthy dose of curry sausage, which is one of the best delicacies i ate on my european travels, only rivaled by the curry fries i had with pop in london. after we parted ways with oli and didez, pop and i hung out for the rest of the night... he's my poiritt!!
took this for my giraffe lover friend, greasy tuckers:
oli decided to eat some cracka' ass on the way:
suck my kebab:
i don't know wtf this is, but i laugh every time i see it:
wednesday, july 4:
mom and i hit the berlin tegel airport and flew back to heathrow for a few days in london before heading home... is there more video and pics? probably! dammit i thought i was DONE WITH THIS FUCKING DOCUMENTATION!!!